Keep My Head Above Water
by Beware.Of.Saints
Summary: Some memories keep coming back when you least expect them to....MM/TR*MM/AD
1. Water

Keep my head above water

_Present_

_She is drowning. She can feel the water filling her lungs. She wants to scream for help but knows it would be no good. She slowly starts to sink deeper and deeper into water and feels the life leaving her struggling body. Her eyelids seem too heavy as she is drifting into eternity. But before the darkness encloses her she can hear the voice that once meant the earth and heaven to her 'You're_ mine. '

Minerva wakes up with a scream. Panting for breath she struggles out of bed to get herself a glass of water but she instead sinks onto the wooden floor sobbing.

* * *

_October 14, 1941_

"Minerva! I'm sorry!" Cried Tom Riddle in despair. But Minerva wasn't listening, she continued packing her things. When she was finished, she closed her suitcase and headed for the door of her and Tom's house they bought not even a year ago.

"I love you! Tom cried after Minerva. " She stopped abruptly in her tracks and slowly faced him.

" Love me? You are not capable of love! If you were you wouldn't have hit me! " She was angry and she had every right to be. She walked to him and stopped about one foot in front of him and said to his face with an expression that displayed so many feelings:

" You were once a great man with great visions but somewhere on the way you've lost your touch. " And with the words so truthful she turned and started walking to the door again.

It took him a few seconds to process her words, those words stroke him like a thunder into chest " Where the hell you think you're going? To you precious Dumbledore?! Go for it and be his whore! But remember you're mine Minerva McGonagall and one day I'll come for you! " Tom cried in rage. Minerva had never seen him so angry before and never since.

But back then she didn't care. _The hell with Tom Riddle_. She grabbed her luggage and headed out of the door in to the darkness of night. She never was one for tears or weakness but her courage had failed her that night and she felt how the hot tears started to stroll down her cheeks.

_How she loved him…_

* * *

_October 14, 1951_

The leaves started to fall from the trees and the grass was no longer freshly green. The wind was blowing strong and the sky was covered with heavy clouds. A typical autumn day.

Minerva McGonagall was enjoying a walk on the Hogwarts grounds. Everything seemed so peaceful. It was either too soon or too windy for anybody to be outside. But for Minerva, it was the best time for a walk; the weather so much resembled the Scottish weather that with time she came to love days like this one.

Everything seemed perfect in her life. She was married to a man of her dreams and was entirely happy with him. She also not even a week ago became Gryffindor Head of House and Deputy Headmistress and she was close to what she loved the most, children. Being a teacher was not an easy task but with time she had become well respected and liked by all students. Well, _almost_ by all students. She never understood that damn Slytherin pride. _Life can be good after all._

" Missed me? "

* * *

This is just something that I had in my head for quite a long time. It was supposed to be one-shot but somehow I made it quite long. Obviously, this is just a first part. I'd like to see if you like it and if yes I'll upload the rest of it, I'm almost done with it.

Excuse my mistakes, I'm too lazy to find myself a beta and too lazy to puncuate correctly :)

Cheers xoxo

Helena


	2. Lies

Disclaimer: Am not JKR…yep…no luck.

The story continues, this is second part out of three. Hope you'll like it!!

Xoxo Helena

* * *

_"Missed me? "_

She spun on her heels and came face-to-face with a person who owed the voice. She knew very well the voice but it did not match the vision in front of her. She couldn't recognize him. She remembered him as a tall and handsome boy with never fading grin that seemed to whisper I-know-more-than-you-think. But it was not his wit or his handsomeness she fell in love with, it was his eyes. Those deep dark brown eyes were the first thing she had noticed. But now she saw a man with pale skin and grey blank eyes staring back at her. _What happened to him? _

" Tom?" She seemed to find her voice again. She hadn't seen him since the incident so many years ago and his presence seemed to shock her. She never thought she would see him again. _Ever._

"So you remember me, Minerva." His voice low and husky. He stressed her name so it sent chills down her spine. Somehow his presence made her uncomfortable. If it was his appearance or the memory of the incident ten years ago, she didn't know.

She started to walk fast toward the castle, leaving him standing alone. "You just can't leave, Minerva! Again!" He cried out never showing any affection. She stopped never turning to face him when she said with coldness: "I never came back." The words hit him more than he was willing to admit but he started to walk after her, trying to keep pace with her.

"Minerva, please let's talk." She knew very well where he was going with that. She was not buying it.

"There's nothing to talk about." He was getting angry but he didn't let that show. _I'll teach you a lesson. _He grabbed her softly by her wrist and turned her to face him.

"Minerva please I just want to talk….as _friends_. Believe me I'm not here to cause you any problems." Minerva looked into his face and could see somewhere deep down in his eyes that there _is_ still her Tom somewhere but she was not sure if she wanted to get burn again.

"Please Min, just let me explain, give me a chance. I don't want to leave today with a feeling that you hate me. I want you to forgive me, please." He said this with softness in his voice he hadn't used for a very, very long time. Minerva looked at him once more and he could see that she wanted to know, that she wanted to forgive _and forget._ But he will never allow _that_ happen. And as he looked into her beautiful green eyes he mentioned toward the lake. "Shall we?"

Minerva was not so sure she wanted to go through all of this again. She was happy the way she was but she knew deep down that she would regret it if she would've refused.

"Yes, we shall."

They started to walk toward the lake and a chance presented itself and Tom started to recite his well-practiced speech.

" Min, I don't know where to start…..I was young and foolish and fame and wealth had gotten into my head. But believe me every single thing that I did was for _you_. I thought I would never be good enough for you and yes I did a lot of stupid and cruel things but now I know it was wrong. "

He was trying to make eye contact but Minerva had her head turned firmly toward the lake. But this did not discourage him; on the contrary he could feel her ice melt. By now they reached the shore of Black Lake, the water was silently making soothing sounds, the Forbidden Forest with its secrets was dark as usual and the wind was blowing and playing with leaves falling slowly down to the ground.

They were standing on the shore, looking in to the nothingness. They both were silent and Minerva remembered those happy school days when Tom and she went to this lake more than thousand times, happy and in love. Back in time she thought that Tom is the right man for her and that she will be happy with him forever. _Oh dear, how wrong I was._

Minerva said nothing so Tom continued with his performance.

" And I am here to ask you for forgiveness and… with that he took both of her hands and looked into her eyes ….I still love you. If you could give one more chance. You are everything to me, my love. "

He wanted to use her as his queen. She had everything he had longed for-she was beautiful, intelligent and powerful. His followers would look up to him and her as their leaders without any doubt and that was exactly what he needed. No doubt in their eyes.

Everything he just said meant nothing to him. Words were just hollow tools and he knew too well how to use them to force _anyone _to do what Lord Voldemort desired. But somewhere deep down inside him he knew that what he had just said were not just vain promises and confessions. Something deep down inside him was telling him that what he tried to do was wrong. But he shut it up. As always. He is excellent at shutting things up. _Every great goal needs its sacrifices._

He stared into two beautiful green eyes, searching for answer. But he couldn't make out anything. He saw just blank green eyes staring back at him. He was just starting to say another of his lies when his cheek came in touch with a hand with delicate fingers. He looked up at her, his blood starting to boil.

"Never call me 'your love' again! Ever! How dare you come here and tell me all of your lies!"

"Minerva, everything I just said was truth," what a lie ",believe me I would never lie to you, " another lie", I am here because I lo.. "

" That's enough! Do you really thing I'm _that _stupid? Do not offend mine and yours intelligence, will you! " She looked like a Scottish storm that waited centuries to be unleashed. She had fire in her eyes, fists tightly clenched by her sides, standing rigid as never with her hair out of a customary bun. She looked more beautiful than he ever imagined.

She had enough of this nonsense. What was he thinking? He came here to see her and told her all these lies? She knew very well that it was _him_ who was responsible for the massacres on innocent muggles and other disgusting felonies.

Minerva turned and wanted to walk away but was grabbed firmly by wrist. Tom spun her toward him and caught her by waist close to his body.

" You are not going anywhere. " She wanted to get out of his grip but he was much stronger than she was. She couldn't stand a chance. She stopped struggling and looked into his eyes.

" What do you want? "

" This. " And with a smirk he kissed her passionately on lips. Minerva couldn't believe this was happening. That man who was kissing her disgusted her more than anything else. There was nothing left of _her_ Tom in him. She mustered her strength and bit him hard, he loosened his grip and she prepared to start to run away but unfortunately he didn't loose his grip enough.

He was getting really angry. He knew that this was not an easy task but Minerva was starting to make him more and more mad. He grabbed her even stronger, almost crushing her bones.

" I don't think you understand, my love. You're mine. You will never see your old fool anymore. " He could see courage in her eyes but he could see fear as well and he smirked. Minerva realized that she showed a weakness, she straightened in his grip and lifted her head high.

" Do you really think you can break me? I will never be yours, Tom. Despite everything you are going to do with me I will never forget the only man I love. Albus will be in my heart for ever because no matter what you will take from me you will never be able to force me to forget him. Never. "

He could see so much strength and love beyond comprehension on her face. He used to see love in her eyes back then. _Love for him._ But this love was much bigger and stronger. And then he understood. _I am never going to have her back. _

He didn't want this happen but she didn't give him another chance. He was going to do a thing he never wanted to. He knew he had to do this. There was no other chance. _If I can't have her then nobody will._

He grabbed her by both wrists and spun her with a full force toward water. Minerva realized what he intended to do but it was too late. She was already falling to the freezing water, soaking wet. He was dragging her deeper and deeper into water, she was trying to fight him but he just laughed. She knew there was no chance fighting him but she _had to_ try. She had to fight for her life.

They were far enough from the shore when they both stopped struggling. They were just staring into each other's eyes. No words needed.

Two former lovers. One high above water grabbing other who was only few inches above water holding for dear life. It seemed like both recalled those happy years together, days full of laughter and fun.

It was for the second time Minerva shed tears for Tom Riddle. But this time it was not because of her love for him but because she felt sorry for him, she felt sorry for people who he and his followers had killed and for people who were going to die. She let the tears fall, the unspoken words of pity.

He could see her cry, silently. As always. He could sense the unspoken words between them. He had killed dozens of people, men, women and even children. But he never felt sorry for none of them. They meant nothing to him but killing Minerva meant killing a part of him. _It will make me stronger, no weak sides anymore._ And with that thought he pushed Minerva's head under the water. He could feel her struggling and he smirked.

She was drowning. She could feel the water filling her lungs. She wanted to scream for help but knew it would be no good. She slowly started to sink deeper and deeper into water and felt the life leaving her struggling body. Her eyelids seemed too heavy as she was drifting into eternity. But before the darkness enclosed her she could hear the voice that once meant the earth and heaven to her "You're mine. "


End file.
